I want to share a story.

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Hello! Now, I think it's time to break a little bit of privacy and tell you some things about shrimp and I and every beautiful one of you surrounding us.

I first started off on deviantART three years ago . That's around the same time I stumbled upon Harmonie's page and fell in absolute love with her art. That night, when I was browsing through "kewl digital artz" of other artists, I stumbled upon this little piece of hers fourth-star.deviantart.com/art… and just stared in awe for the longest time. I still remember how shocked and surprised I was after I saw her page and browsed through her art. By three months, I had memorized almost every single description and deviation in her gallery and went through every tiny detail on her profile.( I was quite the stalker indeed oops)

She became my ultimate idol. I could comfortably say that I could've officially claimed to be your biggest fan. I went through everything she had ever posted relating to art. By this time, I was quite ready to give up with my art, as I was continuously flustered with everything I did, and troubles in real life were getting worse by the day. I was slowly depressing myself and slowly getting more and more physically tired and unhealthy.

On that same summer, I found my salvation  by drawing like her. Her drawings were my escape at the time, and I might've gone into depression if I did not reach this escape. Her amazing descriptions, the way she loves drawing, the way she enjoys everything she did, and the way that she just lived and took everyone into affection had me starstruck. I started to trace your work, copy it on my notebooks, watch your youtube videos, and I basically did everything to become like her. I even had a folder on my desktop named "How to become the next CASF" (please don't ask;;;;;okgkf)

Between that same time period, on a hot summer afternoon, seeing that she was taking everyone's words into consideration on her page encouraged me to do so too. I was literally an obsessive secret fan just wanting nothing but to talk to her and leech every single pro-tip I could get. So, I commented. The comment talked about how hot summer was, and continued on to a few threads where I talked nonsense over kingdom hearts, merged video game consoles and all that silly stuff. Now that I look back, I don't understand how she took it. I probably would laugh it off, but she, she replied to me and interacted with me. Before we knew it, we were talking nonsense together and we kind of clicked, as if she was a long time friend of mine. This was on August 11, 2011. This was the first day I met her. This was the first day that my life changed.

After some more talking on her profile, I shyly asked for her msn. I freaked out when she said yes and noted me, and on top of that, watched me. I was about to run around the whole compound screaming. Seriously. I was an obsessive young art enthusiast who was super excited about talking to her.
The next day, she came online. I remember I hadn't used my msn for a long time then, so I quickly played around with it and went online too. I opened a chat window with her and stared at it for 20 minutes, nervously flipping through tabs. Then, I did a life changing thing by messaging her. She replied with a "Hi xD" and I was about ready to fly off to another planet. I quickly formally greeted her and hurried off, saying that "my cousin" was calling me. Truth is, I was just freaking out and couldn't talk to her and was so happy about this whole thing.
The next day, and the next day, I kept logging in. She was there, and the whole thing rinsed-and-repeated over and over again, with a bit of an addition every time. She was shy, and so was I, and we warmed up towards each other every single day.
By the end of summer, I was sure I had acquainted her as my friend. I proudly wore that friendship badge around, I proudly pushed my chest out and cherished this concept with her. It was something really special to me.
Around that time, we decided to move accounts. I realized she had shyness issues, and I suggested that I used to feel the same, and since she was popular, I suggested we move out accounts. We agreed, and moved over to these accounts. I still remember us being silly and trying to synchronize the second we pressed the "create account" button. So we did, and time passed.

Over time, as it was some kind of unnatural link, we started to get warmer towards each other. I always remember looking forward to my escape with my conversations with her, waiting for her to get online and waiting to share things with her and mess around with her. We talked, and we talked, and we laughed and died in front of the screen. This was just the beginning of something so big, that I can't even begin to express my hyped up feelings about this whole thing. I was so happy, and I had found my escape.
Over durations, we started to identify each other's wounds and mistakes, and we covered it up for each other, and we talked it through, and whenever kept it in and we completed every empty space in our personality by covering up for each other. Of course, we went through some hard shit together, some hard days, some bad days with families, some bad feelings relating to something in real life, bad days with others, or anything in general. But always, we were there to lift each other up whenever one of us fell down. We put a bandaid on each other's wounds, and we continued walking forward. We closed our eyes to the bad things trying to bring us down, and we protected each other from anything we possibly could. Whenever I felt bad, I would always itch to get online and talk to her. Just to see her speaking as the person she is and just to see her acting as herself, and when I told you that I was having a bad day, to see you spamming me with a million brohugs until I finally smiled. Somedays, even if I never told her, I would be crying in front of the computer screen for multiple issued I had in real life, and just speaking to her normally would inspire me to go fix and work harder, and be strong against everything that happened. And some days, she would feel down and I would spam her with a wall of text of any possible solutions, I would try to provide her with the tiny information that I know, as much as I can,  and  would provoke her until she replied to me whenever she had a serious anxiety attack. I seriously refused to give up on her no matter what. No matter what, and I will never change this. She would never leave me alone, and she would always come to my aid no matter what kind of deep hole I was in. For these last three years I've known her, we were each others medicine, and we thought each other how to immunize ourselves against any other outside forces that tried to trip us. We would always lean on each others shoulders and stand back up.

To this day, she has been my aid and I have been hers. I have never seen a person as beautiful, as talented, as amazing, as friendly, as accepting, and as open minded as her. I would tell her things that I couldn't even accept myself. She changed me in ways that I could not even possibly explain to her. People try to assume and understand what goes on between us, but only we do. I couldn't even begin to explain how much we mean to each other as friends, and how much we will stick up for each other no matter what. Today, we work on the D'I project together, we cooperate, come up with ideas, laugh our butts off at the stupidest things and make fun of each other. This relationship means so much to me, I can not possibly begin to put it to words. I watched beside her and looked up at her as she changed people and spoke to them like she spoke to me when I first met her, and every time she would make a new friend I would get really warm feeling inside as I remember how I felt when I was talking to her, and I just hope they are as lucky as I am and would stumble upon talking to us when they are feeling at they're worst. I really cannot put it words, no matter how much I try.
Thank you for everything Harmonie. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, and please, never ever stop being you.

-Elif

© 2013 - 2024 SkipSkid
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